flying away, youth

good bye 2005
time flies
i'm not growing up
i'm getting old

掰掰討人驗的嘴臉
掰掰假惺惺的笑臉

finding urself
being urself

when have u been losing urself?
where have u been losing urself?

maybe it's much earlier then u think

enrich urself
it's the better way to hold it

fine!
maybe it's the fucking right book to me

hi! 2006!

why are you here?

這是個胡思亂想胡言亂語胡亂發脾氣的一晚
after fucking 7-hour-long meeting

劇烈頭痛提醒了一切
半夜睡不著覺的媽媽提醒了一切

what do you exist for?
why are you here?
what are you reading for?
you dont even understand my words!
do you? do you?

rethink your life
love the people worth to love
respect the people worth to respect

i'm not a philosopher
i'm not a thinker
i'm not a careerist

can i just be myself?
......
i think the answer is no
no one can be themselves
people wear their mask all the time
even when they are alone
people dont know who they are after they lost something...something...

calm
tomorrow is coming
everything is not your business and everything is your business
put on ur mask
go!

theme song

there is a song for each story
there is a story for each song

e-lover
勇氣
安靜
一了白了
也許
我願意
你沒那麼愛他
曖昧

(...to be continued)

when is the ending coming?
i mean happy ending...

sleepless in my mind, murmuring at night

too many people, too many stories
asking, guessing, predicting
tarot or me?

it makes me laugh
i'm not alone, i'm with ur stories, all of u

where is my memory?

have u heard about insomnia?
it takes away ur memory... and it's contagious...
watch out!! people!!

i'm low-keyed
i'm trying to talk quietly
hush------

people around me are cute, funny and full of stories
besides, they don't believe in themselves

be strong!! people!!

momochen, i miss u!
u are totally another me

委曲界的國歌

WHITE FLAG

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on......


簡直是莫名其妙
被我發現誰這樣
我就狠狠揍她一頓

這是一封信

在決定要快樂起來的一星期後
傍晚被眼前的灰矇給麻醉了
在獨自一人的空間中
腦海很容易上演最不願回想的部分
可能是神經都被車燈催眠了吧
無力反抗
當初無法開口說出的話
一字一字地打在心上

你要的是什麼?
不就是那一點點的包容
沒有人應該包容誰
沒有人應該容忍誰
沒有應該這件事,一切都是free will
看你願不願意肯不肯去做罷了

嚴謹,是對外人的方式
放縱,只有自己人會看到
這種說法是自私的
但是真實的
"彼此之間沒有距離,你才會看到我的放縱"

壓力,矛盾,委屈
不見得會反應在每個人身上
但一定不是我這個凡人可以抵抗的
只能承認
尋求解藥
你是一顆藥
是顆對我沒有發生作用還留下後遺症的藥
是這樣的嗎?

今天又踏進痛苦的回憶裡
狹小的空間,短暫的路程,不帶感情的對話
一切都讓它胎死腹中吧
let it go, my baby, my baby
不知道要花多久的時間,淚水,心靈交戰

悠閒的一週
少不了掉眼淚

我想我說太多了
畢竟你們都是我的外人

on the way home

很久沒有快快樂樂的回家了
剛剛看到一隻狗對著遠遠的另一隻狗(屌很大,讓我想到小狼,小狼是我殺的沒錯)狂吠
要不是主人們拉著
不知道牠下一個動作會對大屌狗做什麼
吠得好專心,好用力
離開得好捨不得,也好用力(主人用力拉)
好想知道這兩隻狗在想什麼
好想知道牠在跟牠說什麼

有沒有發現自己很久沒有這麼單純地觀察其他人事物了?

好了!
闖紅燈時不能在想著你了!
很危險的

where is the sunshine?

nauseous life, i live
nauseous people, around me
nauseous love, passed away
nauseous body, here i am
nauseous world, make me headachy

when will ur happiness come back?
when will ur depression be gone?

持續的反胃,頭痛與高溫
足以造成一個人的輕生吧

give vent to ur anger and sadness?
who can catch that?
who should catch that?
who the hell u think u are?
u are damned isolated!!!

overloaded
one day, the Sun will die out

overflowed

not only full
the brain is pressured
think, review, complain, compare
NO WAY!
just go into the war and burn ur life

that's all i have
my diary
my youth

"不要心情不好啦"
"心情不好還不是因為你"
......

"算什麼?"
你希望算什麼?!

做人為何那麼謙卑?
愛情真的能改變一個人嗎?
這種情素又能維持多久呢?
有人為我改變越大
我越無法信賴這份感情
"這算什麼?"
這才是我該問的吧!

2002.03.07 Thu.

as a fly

i can't feel myself

the little airplane
vancouver film school
the two ladybugs
the chicken postcard from momochan
the turtle-slow laptop
people up and down in the street
sparkling white benz
endless meetings
all day long headache
diverse topics which i dont understand at all behind me

that's 95% of my life
i'm loving it

really short break
time to go back to the reality

hi,Jill

Winter, in Spring

凍結
我最愛的冬天
還是春天?

插再削鉛筆機上的鉛筆
剛剛喝完熱牛奶還沒洗的杯子
鋼琴上左邊數過來第二個陷下去的fa

三點了還沒有該有的睡意
自以為浪漫
取而代之的是一陣陰森

這麼說來不去找個人一起睡不行了
告辭!

spin, as a snail

is it a dream?
daydreaming, night dreaming, i prefer daydreaming
fantasy is better than worry

internet, it's more complicated than my mind
is that real u? i have no idea
it's definitely not real me
it's a depressive me

ah, in front of u, i'm also a depressive me

people spin under lamps
i spin in my dream, like a snail

STOP!

sleepless at midnight, with a cold

what a proper song!
my headache, my running nose, my cough,
even my tiredness can't stop me thinking about you

思念是一種很玄的東西 如影隨行
無聲又無息出沒在心底 轉眼吞沒我在寂寞裡
我無力抗拒特別是夜裡 想你到無法呼吸
恨不能立即朝你狂奔去 大聲的告訴你

it's different from usual
it's the same as usual
what a conflicting Aries with dual personality!!

are u in the same boat, momo chan?
do u also think about someone and not be able to fall sleep at midnight?
are u also waiting for his call all the time no matter day and night
and are u always restraining from dialing "call"?

maybe u are not what i said
neigher am i

who is like this?
let me know

my boredom brings me vividness

好心情
大概是來自於即將到來的解脫吧
再加上每個孩子都愛的過年
以及電視上夢幻的愛情故事
還有來自各國擁有自我特色的朋友們
the most important reason surely is...
NARCISSISM, my serious desease

in a good mood
we don't usually say much

HEEHAA----

L-O-S-E-R

almost in tears when the picture bumped out
出乎自己意料
崩潰自以為的冷靜
壓抑,似乎反彈的更高
surprising, 思念
讓我像是一個自戀狂看著自己的照片一樣

12345 almost 6 months
purposive oblivion + gradual change
it's like you walk east and i walk west
getting futther and further

a poor person with poor self-esteem from a poor country
falls in love with
a calm person without a heart from a prosperous country

HUG ME when u see me next time
ok?

happy old year

thinking fondly of my 2004

1 January
5 January
16 January
5-8 March
21 March
8 April
17 April
23 April
25 April
1 May
8-12 May
14 May
18-19 June
20 May
21 May
22 May
26 May
29 May
6 June
26 June
21 July
22 July
23 July
21-22 August
12-21 September
15-17 October
6-8 November
27 November
25 December
26 December
27 December
31 December

all in my diary and my mind

who is going to fill up my next diary?

happy old year
yes, it is